Guilt

Guilt. It’s a terrible thing sometimes. Often the guilt associated with an act is actually worse than the act itself.  We all make poor choices in life. For some of us, it’s how we try to learn the difference between right and wrong.  People go through life being told what acceptable behavior is, and how we should treat others. But those moments will come along in our lives that make us question why something is wrong. We look at a situation and attempt to weigh all the pros and cons that go along with our actions. Most times we will attempt to rationalize things to ourselves and others, when deep down inside we know that what we are doing or about to do is usually considered wrong.  If we can come up with a good enough reason though, just about any act is acceptable. Now, I’m not talking about seriously wrong acts that would likely put one in jail. No, I am speaking of those acts that mostly hurt someone on a personal and emotional level. The after effect of these acts however usually involves at least some amount of guilt, and if severe enough that guilt can manifest itself in other ways.

Uncontrollable guilt can sometimes lead to paranoia. The feeling that everyone knows and isn’t telling you they know, or that everyone is suspicious and is trying their best to get information out of you. When the term “How are you doing?” makes you panic, then you’ve probably got a problem. Everyday mundane conversations turn into interrogations. You can continue to try and justify yourself, at least inwardly, but the guilt erodes away the confidence you had in your decision making process before it all started.  This feeling of overwhelming guilt may be the answer to the question of whether or not the act was wrong, but the longer it goes the less it matters because the paranoia and mental anguish become unbearable.

Now some people can bypass this whole process completely. Whether it’s making personal peace with the rationalization of their actions, or just a complete lack of empathy towards those around them, many can move on quickly without guilt settling in. If you don’t care what people think, why would worry about the consequences of your actions? Many people don’t, but those who do quickly find themselves second guessing their own actions that they seemed to be almost certain of before. Guilt, and paranoia associated with it, can often be so strong that it can lead to unprompted confessions by the ‘guilty’ party. Which of course isn’t always a bad thing. This may be the subconscious’s way of forcing you to do what’s right, or at least ease your mind of the burden.