Ocean at the End of the Lane

I picked up Ocean at the End of the Lane late last year, but with graduation looming in the fall it got pushed to the bookshelf waiting to be read with a plethora of others in the ‘to read’ pile. While most people ‘binge’ watch television, I binge on books (well books by certain authors at least). I tend to be analyze a lot when I read, so it can take me awhile to get through a book, especially if I am not familiar with the author, or it has been awhile since I've read anything of theirs. So reading as much as I can by one author back to back, the patterns and voice of the writer become familiar and I can usually move through much quicker. I’m still pretty lazy reader though (scatter brained would be the best way to put it).

With Neil Gaiman’s work, I had read four or five over the summer of 2013 until school broke up my reading cycle, and after graduation decided to clear up a few other of my ‘to read’ list before I knocked out Ocean. Gaiman had quickly climbed the ranks of my favorite author’s during the last year, and I was savoring the opportunity to read his latest work, even if I was behind the times from everyone else.

Even though I had taken a break from Neil’s work, Ocean was a quick read for me and not simply because it was only 180 pages. There wasn't much of a need to analyze this one since it was pure Gaiman from get start: There’s the touch on ancient mythology (a prerequisite for most of his work), the alluded to but not specifically named creatures (think Silas from the Graveyard Book), the presence of the evil ‘thing’ that is bound and determined to hurt a child, and a story that seems to walk the line between a children’s tale and an adult one.

I’m sure many might look at some deeper meaning to the story, but for me it was how we tend to remember things that happened very differently from the way other who were involved might. Sometimes it’s intentional, and sometimes it just happens and we don’t know why. But regardless of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, we will hang on to what we believe because they are ‘our’ memories, and they belong to us.

I enjoyed Ocean and would probably put it behind Graveyard Book and American Gods, but ahead of Coraline and Stardust in my rankings of Gaiman’s work. Only gripe, if I have one, is that it could have been a bit longer. I understand that it was a short story that kept growing, but I felt like it could have been fleshed out a little more. Otherwise it was very enjoyable, and of course, highly recommended. 

Well... all seems quiet here.

I admit I have neglected writing for a loooooooong time. School was my excuse before, but I am guessing I should start back at it again.

Maybe someone will actually read what I write, and that would be impressive.

Guilt

Guilt. It’s a terrible thing sometimes. Often the guilt associated with an act is actually worse than the act itself.  We all make poor choices in life. For some of us, it’s how we try to learn the difference between right and wrong.  People go through life being told what acceptable behavior is, and how we should treat others. But those moments will come along in our lives that make us question why something is wrong. We look at a situation and attempt to weigh all the pros and cons that go along with our actions. Most times we will attempt to rationalize things to ourselves and others, when deep down inside we know that what we are doing or about to do is usually considered wrong.  If we can come up with a good enough reason though, just about any act is acceptable. Now, I’m not talking about seriously wrong acts that would likely put one in jail. No, I am speaking of those acts that mostly hurt someone on a personal and emotional level. The after effect of these acts however usually involves at least some amount of guilt, and if severe enough that guilt can manifest itself in other ways.

Uncontrollable guilt can sometimes lead to paranoia. The feeling that everyone knows and isn’t telling you they know, or that everyone is suspicious and is trying their best to get information out of you. When the term “How are you doing?” makes you panic, then you’ve probably got a problem. Everyday mundane conversations turn into interrogations. You can continue to try and justify yourself, at least inwardly, but the guilt erodes away the confidence you had in your decision making process before it all started.  This feeling of overwhelming guilt may be the answer to the question of whether or not the act was wrong, but the longer it goes the less it matters because the paranoia and mental anguish become unbearable.

Now some people can bypass this whole process completely. Whether it’s making personal peace with the rationalization of their actions, or just a complete lack of empathy towards those around them, many can move on quickly without guilt settling in. If you don’t care what people think, why would worry about the consequences of your actions? Many people don’t, but those who do quickly find themselves second guessing their own actions that they seemed to be almost certain of before. Guilt, and paranoia associated with it, can often be so strong that it can lead to unprompted confessions by the ‘guilty’ party. Which of course isn’t always a bad thing. This may be the subconscious’s way of forcing you to do what’s right, or at least ease your mind of the burden.